Category Archives: Yes of course it’s satire

The sad tale of Uriah Kemp

Uriah Kemp had been married for many years, more or less happily, to Eunice. They had both gone into the marriage optimistically, but as the years passed Uriah became disillusioned. He kept thinking back to the days before his marriage, when he had travelled around the world making conquests wherever he went. As age started to catch up with him, he pined for his lost youth and started wondering about leaving Eunice.

There was no one thing about her that he didn’t like. It was lots of little things. For example, she would often invite relatives to come round and do little jobs around the house — putting up some shelves, fixing leaking taps, that sort of thing. Uriah liked getting the work done cheaply, but didn’t really like having Eunice’s relatives around.

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The EU’s proposed “link tax”: a modest proposal

Despite the disastrous effects of the same policy in Spain, the European Union is flirting with the idea of a link tax. This autumn’s proposals for copyright reform in Europe might contain all sorts of good things — not least, Hargreaves-like rules for content-mining — there is also the real possibility that they will also propose requiring payment for linking to content.

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Announcement regarding changes to church policy

Our church has been running at a deficit in recent years, a situation that clearly can’t be allowed to continue. In order to balance the books, we’ve had to make some hard choices. But together, by making necessary sacrifices, we can pull through. Although we value church programmes like the mothers-and-toddlers group, our support for members with special needs, hosting the food bank and donation to third-world charities, these activities are not financially viable in times of economic difficulty, and we have regretfully made the decision to bring them to an end. We need to end the culture of dependency and make sure instead that the people who previously benefited from these programmes start doing their share to make the church financially prosperous once more.

In more positive news, we are pleased to announce that we have been able to reduce the amount that we ask our more comfortably-off members to contribute, and that we have awarded the pastor a 112% pay increase, to be phased in over six years.

[Read on to A meta-comment on voting in the election]