Crunchiegate: the bitter end

A letter!  A letter from SSP, The Food Travel Experts!

Could it be the conclusion of the long-promised full investigation?

What could it contain?

It looks like I’ve busted right through the cover-up!

They sent me a nice letter, a postal order for £1, and a £5 voucher to spend in their outlets.  Here’s the letter:


And the highlights, for those who prefer not to read 4-point text:

  • “As soon as we received your comments, we passed them over to the Operations Manager for the area to investigate directly with the team.”
  • “Our receipt policy is clearly stated on our tills, and there is no excuse for the manager not to have given you a refund for your purchases.”
  • “The Operations Manager has retrained all team members involved, in the correct issuing of receipts to ensure this type of incident does not happen again.”

So, to my surprise, this comes out as more or less a happy ending.  Sending me a postal order is a bit funny — I don’t think I’ve ever seen one before, I thought they were only in Just William and Jennings books and had died out some time in the early seventies.  And making it out for £1 rather than 75p is odd: it’s as though someone thought, “Oh, give him an extra 25p”.  But the £5 voucher is a not wholly contemptible gesture — not as good as the case of Crunchies that Rubberman suggested, but worth having.

At the Pumpkin Cafe’s extortionate price of 75p a pop, I could afford to buy six crunchies with my voucher, and still have 50p left over.  I might just do that.

Heaven help them if they give me any trouble about redeeming the voucher.


13 responses to “Crunchiegate: the bitter end

  1. Spaceman Spiff

    Kewl! Sometimes the squeaky wheel does get greased! :-)

  2. Very amusing – if slightly obsessive compulsive quest. I would suggest you get rid of your address from the internet though, unless you actually want the Crunchie Mafia showing up at your door.

  3. futilelaneswapper

    Hurrah!! It only took 3 weeks for the letter to arrive, but this is a result nonetheless. OTOH… the thing is, given such a satisfactory conclusion, I know that if ever I now find myself at a Pumpkin Cafe or anther of SSP’s franchise outlets, I will recall this episode, a warm gooey feeling will envelop me and I will then splurge huge amounts of cash with them as I succumb to a sort of retail Stockholm syndrome. Surely I am not alone in this response, which means that although you may have gained £5, but you’ve cost the rest of us a fortune!

  4. In our dark times, it’s encouraging to see justice can prevail! I’d frame the letter and the voucher. It could serve as an excuse to tell your future grandchildren of the times you fought in the great Crunch War.

  5. I am indeed going to frame the letter and the postal order. The voucher I will spend, though.

  6. Congratulations on winning the Crunchie case! I wonder how much the investigation costed on their part.

    This terrorizing of their snack food outlet might have earned you a spot on some Crunchie bar watchlist – you had better tread lightly should you decide to redeem that voucher.

  7. Daniel Binau

    Thanks for sharing this, it was enjoyable. I too like to fight long wars over issues of principle, regardless of the monetary value involved.

    Is “Oakleigh Farm House, Crooked End” your actual address? I couldn’t help but smile – it triggers all sorts of cliches about life in the countryside in my head :-)

  8. Carlton Gibson

    A happy conclusion to a nicely distracting story. Can we have something about algorithms or Dr Who now?

  9. Thanks to all who replied. Shaun, you may be right that I should have removed my address, but, what the heck, it’s been on the home page of my website for more than a decade and no-one’s tried to blow me up yet. Yes, Daniel, it’s my real address :-) Robert, I too have wondered how much it’s cost them to recover from failing to refund my 75p. If it’s true that they retrained all the staff, then the cost could easily run into four figures. Carlton, I am really looking forward to writing about the new Doctor Who, which apparently airs “this spring”, but I’ve not been able to find a firm date. As for algorithms — I will have to wait for the muse to strike me, but I do plan to review a classic programming book RSN.

  10. Bravo, remarkable thought

  11. Now we’re looking forward to Crunchiegate Reloaded featuring Mike Taylor trying to refund 25p to SSP. Coming soon at your theatre …

  12. LOL, Norbert — what a great idea. I am almost tempted to try it.

  13. Pingback: Crunchiegate: the cover-up continues! | The Reinvigorated Programmer

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